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Have you ever seen yourself on TV?

Well I have

Have you ever been more famous than me?

Well I have

Have you ever been stung by a bee?

Well I have

Have you ever met Muhammad Ali?

I have, I have



Have you ever had a case of the flu?

Well I have

Have you ever had to escape from a zoo?

I have

Have you ever met the guys in The Who?

Well I have

I'm in Who's Who, are you?

I am



Have you ever stood in line at the bank?

Had an uncle named Frank?

Have you ever rode around in a tank?

I have



But I've never been to Fairbanks Alaska

That's the only place I've never been

Have you ever been everywhere else?

I have, I have



Have you ever locked your keys in your car?

Well I have

Have you ever been thrown out of a bar?

I have

But I've never shot 18 under par

And I still don't know where all those balls are

Except the one that went in some doctor's car

One time in Lincoln Nebraska



And some day I'm going to Fairbanks Alaska

If it's the last thing I ever do

Have you ever done everything else?

I have too, I have!